If you have emotional baggage, do you...

a). throw it out of the train,

b). stow it in an overhead compartment,

c). shove it into someone else's lap, or

c). open it up, and carefully caress and cuddle all of the items inside

i don't have dreams frequently so i don't often understand what the hell they mean especially when they are fairly realistic (i.e. no flying and no aliens). Like are the emotions from the dream grounded in some subconscious reality? Do i really care that much or do i take it at face value as a fanciful dream where emotions can take the same drastic turns as physics can in the dream world.

Lately i've been kind of stressed. i don't know what's going on around here. People don't seem to understand that if you haven't done anything to me and it looks like i'm avoiding you, then it's not on purpose. But if i don't call you to hang out, then it probably means there's some stress involved with hanging out. i'm in what i like to call a "stress-free zone" right now. This zone is much more stringent than those smoke-free zones where you can't like smoke in a bar or within 100 feet of a door or something. The only thing i have room for violating this sanctum is the nasty, ugly DAT man who likes to torment me.

Wow, that was nonsense. Anyhow, if you're always the victim, then something must be wrong with you, right? It's within reason for others to expect you to love hanging out with them even though they stress you out, right? That you have this incredibly important test coming up that will just about determine if you can do what you want to do, and the true important thing is their feelings since they're incapable of keeping their mouth shut, right? How silly of me. Silly silly silly me. rage.

So a lot has happened in the past year. Coming to California has been a blessing and a curse. Maybe Cali is the blessing and i may be the curse.

Anyway, less than 2 weeks until the big day. Frankly, i'm ready for it to be oooovvvverr. And fyi, i hate test prep books. i kind of like this whole learning thing that's happening (like i'd much rather learn about the human body than .... TCNOs, computer networks, communications platforms), but it's completely taken over my mind. Maybe that's why the colorful dream sat in such stark contrast to the barren graveyard in my mind where biology factoids come to die. Blergh.