Ok ok ok, now for something different

Warning: parentheses ahead.

So i've added something new. Rock climbing. Added to the "List of cool new activities to integrate into California society". Also it's spring break so i've found myself awfully bored and feeling an intense need to burn cash to burn away my boredom. Turns out that is subject to diminished return. Something like

the formula for fun from buying : fun = (money / 2) - general malaise and boredom + activities!

So what have i gotten so far? Let's see.. water cooling system for my computer (40 degrees C while playing SC2!), a bunch of cleaning material for my bike, bike computer and biking gloves, a yoga mat (so i can get my P90X on while avoiding carpet indentations and fuzz on my sweaty skin), some new polos from Express (only 12 dollars each!), a pair of earphones, over-ear headphones, and a.. flashlight (inspired by a trip to Joshua Tree). Oh, and a membership to the rock climbing/bouldering gym.

And for activities? As mentioned, went to Joshua Tree National Park. Man, SoCal has so many parks and crap to do. Not THAT many snowboarding options, but not too shabby compared to what crap there was in the dirty south - with weakishly sauced snow/ice. Yeah, but camping was fun. i was pretty tired and a bit moody feeling towards the second day, but it wasn't a completely negative experience. The stars came out later at night and it was nice. A good start to a relatively mild week of sitting at home and reading the Dark Tower.

And so my grades came out and they're whatever. i've yet to get an A in any of my science classes (outside of labs). i've yet to get a C either, but that's not really doing it for me. i think my science GPA is sitting right at or slightly below the average for dent school, but it's only getting tougher to get in these days. All these young uppity kids with their decent study habits and their curve busting grades. Next quarter is going to be pretty rough too, so that'll be interesting. i guess there won't be any snowboarding trips to take before test days, so that's good. i'm applying to dent school this year and i've gotta study for the DATs. Yeehaw.... Read the sarcasm and lack of enthusiasm from the periods....

And i'm extremely annoyed because it's hot, my windows are open, and i can't tell if a baby is crying or cats are getting it on.

But yeah, i'm content. i'm trying to be more healthy. i'm not really healthy in my diet yet (as my dinner at Claim Jumpers was pretty much an injection of fat and starch into my heart, butt, and gut), but i've realized i don't mind getting out and doing stuff. i may sleep a lot, but i also feel a need to get out and do stuff. Work my chubby flab and bow-legs. Especially after being at the rock climbing gym and realizing how much my own body works against me, though it'd be awesome now for doing cannonballs or floating around in a pool (pros which look pathetic against the large list of cons). i'd be f'ing f'ed if i were required to save myself by climbing. Yeah, a very low chance where climbing could save me, but say i was running away from a bear or a pack of jackals and given a snowboard and some snow, or a mountain bike and a moderately intermediate downhill, i'd know i'd stand a chance of evasion. But give me a large boulder to climb over and i'd be doomed. i'd grasp desperately for a grip with my puny arms and hands and be eaten alive. So while slightly impractical in rationalizing it into practicality, i'll just say that i'm learning it to get a way to exercise and develop muscles without actually lifting weights at a boring regular gym.

Anyway, of course the baby/horny cat decides to stop when it's cool enough to actually shut the window.

Blogging while Angry!

Don't do it!

Anyway, i'm done for the quarter. Geez, this quarter system runs me ragged. i can't believe i have another 3 months left. Blergh. And it's got tons of science though i am taking a photography class so hope that breaks up the frustration i'm bound to feel from studying for my DATs, last quarter of ochem (with an ACS final!) and physics, and instrumental chemistry class. Rockin'!

But it's spring break. This post is going for "informative" and "obvious", rather than "insightful". Let's try to add something interesting...

Ooh, well, i went mountain biking, fell off my bike like a grandma, and i have this huge scab on my left forearm. It looks... beefy. Beef jerky. i have to wear long sleeves because i don't want to gross people out which totally sucks because it's like a 100 degrees outside in the afternoon. Spring has sprung into summer. Not looking forward to a Loma Linda desert summer.

But i've been working on building my patience back up. i've been feeling annoyed a lot lately with random things. Is it normal to imagine violent resolutions? i usually justify not exploding because: 1). violence usually doesn't work out into a favorable result (e.g. used to hit my bros a lot and it didn't turn out well), 2). i don't usually think of doing it quickly enough so it would just seem too much of a grudge if i punched someone a week later, and 3). it could end up backfiring and i could get pounded. So yeah, i think i'm just stressin'. i should come up with some good coping methods. Or maybe i should make eating. If i get fat(ter), then i'm really only hurting myself without dealing with the stigma of (direct) self-mutilation while also avoiding lashing out at others! Hurray!

Is it gay to want to learn how to ballroom dance? i need it to be a well-rounded spy.

I am Me

i wonder what it is that feeling of aversion to being told what to do. i guess that feeling is closely related to the "don't act like you know what i'll do" feeling. All about the "do". Like i've been in some situations lately where i try to be objective and think beyond that initial feeling of rebelling against doing what i'm told. Like ask the usual questions, "is the demand/request reasonable?", "are there any emotional considerations on the part of the individuals?", blah blah. Anyway, so i try, but sometimes i just wanna do something else!

i mean, is it being stubborn if you buck a trend because you sincerely believe in the alternative ways of doing something? i'm not saying hippies are always right or wrong, but even they've gotta be right sometimes. (save the whales, yes. pour paint on people wearing fur, no.) There will always be those that love a pair of shoes until they realize a whole lot of other people like those shoes... then they'll hate those shoes. But what if they genuinely are just "over" those shoes. Man, my analogies are really weak today (or.. everyday).

So, yeah, back to my point. Well, there is no point. i guess writing a blog while riding on a wave of frustration leads to a fairly incoherent flow... Oh well.... For example, i won't say i'm a pinnacle of achievement... (or a pile of crap, to be self-deprecating), but i'm doing what i'm doing to get to where i want to be. Sure, it's not with extreme zeal and pleasure, but who goes to school thinking like that? i'm going to school because i want to, but i'm not going to act like it's my only reason for existence. i have other things i enjoy and want to do. i don't like people sitting and thinking they "know" me when they have no idea where or how the sum of the 27 years of life experiences (gasp! old alert) have led me to where i am today. i'm not saying i'm all wizened to the world or some experienced sage, but i've been around a few slutty, mind-numbing, soul-rending blocks and so i might want to take life at a nice steady pace....

Bleh, this post is vague. There was some potential to be a nice analysis on people who hate the trend because of it being a trend, but RAGEEEEE

Spring?

So, all these flowers i see all over campus inspired me to get a macro lens. i can't say i'm utilizing it to the max yet, but working on it. Also one of my favorite flowers went away by the time i got it in the mail so that made me sad.

And.. yeah, i am having some difficulty arranging them in a nice way, so all jumbled up is what blogger gets.

Jazzercise

My mom is a woman of random kicks. Not cool shoes. i guess i should've said "interests" instead. So i didn't have to waste a few sentences clarifying..... i won't go back!

So, through my life she's always gotten it into her head to do something. For example, in rough chronological order: cutting hair (which i hated the most because bowl cuts suck), Yanni, Mario Brothers on the NES after the NES wasn't cool, arranging fake flowers, making custom frames, Othello (the video game), Minesweeper on Windows 3.1, the Internet, chatrooms, (big gap from not being around her for 6 years), Bejeweled Blitz.

Anyway, there's a lot more than that. i just can't remember it all right now. But i remember one of them was workout videos. She bought so many different work out videos when i was a kid and she probably watched one of them completely about zero times. But the pile would grow. There was Jazzercise. There was something about Jane Fonda. There was just a lot of weird ladies in spandex and colors and zebra stripes. Anyway, i always thought my mom was crazy until i realized i'm pretty much the same way except my stuff runs more expensive... which is worse!

Lately i've been on this kick of trying to enjoy all that California has to offer as mentioned previously and i've finally purchased a new mountain bike. DP and i are planning on doing Muddy Buddy. Running through mud and stuff. Too bad it's at the end of the month and i'm definitely not in shape. i've gotten steadily rounder and pudgier over the last few years towards the end of the AF thing where i realized i didn't care about getting better than the bare minimum on my fitness tests to now where i eat like i'm afraid the world will run out of food so i'm cameling the hump in my food baby belly. Run-on! So i want to get in shape. i plan on biking a lot since i spent a decent amount on that bike. And i need to do a lot more cardio since i'd probably improve myself the most from losing fat than i would from building muscle. Uh, workout plans make for some boring blogging material.

Anyway, i'm pretty excited about the course. i'm sure it'll be rough for my flabby body, but it should be entertaining. i also got a new snowboard because they were having a sale, but too bad it won't get here in time for tomorrow when i go! Weee! i love California!

And now i feel bad because i don't call my mom enough. She's been probably the best parent i could ever ask for. My dad is cool and all, but he's been pretty non-existent lately.

It's hard to say how i feel about that. Even when i worked for him back in Georgia, i didn't feel like we connected. When i was gone for 6 years, we probably talked about a couple dozen times and he remembered half my birthdays (or forgot half if i want to see it half-empty). i guess that's just what i'm used to with him. This is our relationship. In contrast, my mom would always call first if we hadn't talked in a while and see if i was doing well. She came a couple times to make me food to freeze and buy me the basics that i'd never though about. i mean, what single guy in his first apartment needs a dining table? Not i, but my mom got me one anyway. i guess it's just how it is. i sometimes wonder if i should do more to improve our relationship where we're like best friends and we go play golf together.... but that's just not me. i'm 100 percent a reciprocator. i respond. So, yeah, maybe i can work on that later. Frankly, whether people are parents or friends or acquaintances, i talk to whomever wants to talk to me.

Ok, this got mighty defensive. Like.. where was the affection? i don't need it! Who held me when i cried? Crying is for babies! Haha, anyway, spring is springing and i really wish i had a macro lens to capture the pretty flowers sprouting up all over. Flowers are too tiny for my portraits.