School, work, school/work, school.

Why does it feel like i only have two options in my life?

i can either work or i can go to school.

That's it!!!! AHHH!

i suppose it's a bit unreasonable to expect to get paid to do something i enjoy. Like getting paid to sleep and watch favorite TV shows... or snowboarding.. or taking pictures. Yeah, yeah, there's professional sports and photography, but i'm no Shaun White or... Ansel Adams. i just enjoy doing that stuff. So prove me wrong by paying me to crash and burn on mini-jumps or to take blurry pictures of your cat.

Similar concepts: Everything that tastes good isn't particularly good for you. Flying to space will cost you 20 million dollars.

Imagining everything going well with all my future plans, my happiness wouldn't be in my completion of dent school. It would be in the relationships and friendships i've made. Seriously, i mean, why would anyone say anything different? Maybe robots. Not saying i'm all hyper-emotional, but i've gotten all kinds of trinkets and gadgets for myself and it doesn't make me all that happy. i would say i feel temporarily... sated. Should i find happiness in personal accomplishments though? Would thinking that way motivate me to accomplish my goals with more gusto? Probably, but that's kind of against my personal statement. What is my personal statement? (echo.. echo....) Well, i know it's not finding satisfaction in personal accomplishments. In fact, i find that the more acknowledgement and rewards i received in the AF, the less and less i did. Sure, i felt a subtle pride on occasion, but this only made me feel worse about myself when i'd evaluate my emotions. So please don't compliment me. It leads me onto a path of self-destruction. i'm emo.

So what's the point....?

But yeah, the root of all this is money. Evil! i don't mind school except the fact i have to pay for it and all the other things i have to pay for while there's less income than if i were working. And working isn't so bad, but it's kind of the anti-school... You make money, but you don't learn too much. Except how all the people in your office are annoying or how mundane your life has become with all conversation revolving around American Idol, weather, and/or traffic.

Anyway, i'm just bummed because i find that i'd rather blog about pointless things than study. i've got my DATs coming up soon and if i want to get my app in early i've gotta take it earlier... so i'm aiming for late June. Yay. Only 5-6 years til i can transition from this school thing to the work thing again. At least i can theoretically get more money so i can buy myself more expensive things. Yay.....