Anyway, let's just say it helps that I'm ready to go. Ready to go and let go. MKAY was great, but the awesomeness I remember will never return. Maybe the younger kids can create their own fond memories. For me it's just a pale comparison. I'll miss the few people left in GA, but I'm basically getting too old for this. Like.. literally.
So off I go. To those inclined to read the details: I'm going to La Sierra University. It's going to cost a mint. I'm going to live as frugally as possible which will be hard having lived all cush without paying rent and making 3k a month being a student and delivering. In hindsight.. maybe I should've saved a little. Regardless, it'll be interesting. Hopefully I can survive. The shame of returning degree-less will keep me from failing. Or at least I hope so. I have no idea where I'm going to live right now. I'm taking nothing except whatever else fits in the trusty ole' RSX hatchback outside of clothes, a snowboard, and my tennis racquet. Driving solo across the country will be a pain, but it shouldn't be too bad.
I don't want to say it's my destiny to attend an SDA school. Frankly, i would've gladly attended UC Riverside. Too bad their application deadline was in March and I only started looking at schools in Cali in June. Was this God's plan? We'll see. At La Sierra, they make you sign up for a Bible class and schedule you for weekly worship. I signed up for Old Testament Archaeology. That's going to be interesting. I don't want to say that my faith is suffering. It's pretty much non-existent. At least by any SDA measure. Maybe all these science classes are getting to my head, but for some reason my life doesn't seem like it's been influenced by any supernatural force. It's all very.. logical. I hope I'm wrong about all the God stuff. I hope for the Sunday law. I hope for the Second Coming, but do I really really believe it..? Do I have the fear of eternal damnation driving me into obedience? Nope. I think that the way I run my life right now is still better than most Christians. How self-righteous. I can have morality without religion. I can have compassion without acknowledging Christian ideals. I can be honest without worrying about burning in hell due to lies. I don't want to pray in hopes that there's a god. I want to pray because I honestly believe in God. So... we'll see. I'm not waiting to see. I just want to see. I don't even really mind in the long run if there is a God or Allah or Buddah. I'm just glad enough people believe in that stuff to keep from killing each other. Sure, there are zealots, crusaders, and suicide bombers, but I'd rather the many control themselves under the fear of hell than there to be no religion and everyone living by some random code or purely under government.
This post is basically a rehash of the previous post, but it's good to see that I'm finally doing it. I set a goal and I'm accomplishing it. Look at me! Now if only I could win the lottery....
No comments:
Post a Comment